Mike Rhodes
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Mike Rhodes's Story
Popularity is a Fickle Thing
My Story of Isolation and Learning to Forgive
Story Tags
popularity, isolation, unpopular, trusting God, pornography, theater, acting, friends
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When you're new to a school, making friends is important...and as much as you may like people to come to you, sometimes you just have to take the initiative yourself. That's what I did in 2nd grade, the guy's name was Brad...and he was the class clown, and just about the coolest guy I figured. So I knew, that I would have to do something to stand out in order to befriend him. So in the beginning of the day was the pledge of allegiance, and inspiration struck me...at the end of the pledge I purposefully missed my chair and made it look like an accident. Everybody laughed, including Brad, he thought it was the funniest thing ever, and thus our friendship began.
We were friends all throughout elementary school, and slowly through the years we developed a posse. We weren't a gang, we didn't cause trouble...but we certainly were mischievous at times. Brad was the ringleader, everyone looked up to him. He was Jack and I was David (a newsie reference...go see the movie then you'll know what I mean).
So sixth grade came, the last year of elementary school before we went off to big scary middle school. That January Brad invited a bunch of guys from school to a birthday party and sleep over, and it was especially important to me because it was the first time my parents let me do that. You see I have diabetes, and there were some restrictions just simply because I wasn't old enough to take care of myself. So to have my parents say I was old enough and mature enough to take care of myself and solely manage my diabetes for one night meant a lot, like a rite of passage.
So I get to Brad's house and it was great...did the whole cake, presents and some major N64 playing (remember the days when that was like the coolest thing ever?!?) and all the regular birthday stuff. So then Brad said "Hey it's dark let's go play manhunt!" Now for those who are unfamiliar with the game, manhunt is nothing more than a glorified hide-and-go-seek but with a more manly name to it, and you hide out in the dark dark woods. Well the it would have been fun...except for the part where we got chased in the woods by drunk teenagers, and I lost the group I was with. Somehow by the grace of God, I managed to find my way back to Brad's house and everything would be fine.......
Too bad that wasn't true
Later that night, some friends at the party were pusing Brad to get on the computer once his parents were asleep and look at some pornographic stuff. It didn't take long for Brad to give in and soon enough there was a huddle of boys staring at nude women on the computer. I was stunned shocked and appalled. I couldn't believe they were doing this much less not getting caught. But it didn't stop there as they then went into the living room and started watching pornographic movies.
To this day I'm still proud of myself that I didn't cave at either opportunity. When the movies starting going I began to look for a place to just go to sleep, the problem was I couldn't sleep in the kitchen...because that's just weird, the tv room was out of the question due to what was being watched there, and the living room was being dominated by the scariest dog I thought I had seen. So I went into the tv room, placed my stuff behind the couch and just camped there. I still remember laying there, hearing them giggle at what they were watching, and thinking "How did it come to this? This was supposed to be fun, and now I'm laying here behind a couch, isolating myself". I'm pretty sure I cried myself to sleep.
The weekend came and went, and wasn't feeling any prouder of my friends. And I walk into school and one of my friends from the posse, Alan, comes running up to me "Mike! Mike! Brad is disbanding the group! Now of course my friend didn't use the the term "disband" I mean this is sixth grade for cryin' out loud, but the message was the same. The fact of the matter was, Brad found that he liked hanging out with a bunch of cooler guys from school, but as a result of everyone going their seperate ways, I was left in the dust with no place to call my own.
So, essentially I spent the rest of my sixth grade year by myself. And not wanting to speed through the rest of middle school but that same isolation continued even then. I got involved in a youth group and made some friends, but none of them went to my school. So while I may have had friends on Wednesday nights and on the weekends. I still had to endure coming to school week in and week out, from 7am-3pm, without anyone I really could call a friend.
However in 9th grade, life turned around. My school district was in the process of restructuring and as a result, the freshmen had an entire building to themselves. It was at this point that some of my good friends from youth group went to the same school I did. I was so excited, FINALLY some brothers who I can struggle with throughout the drama that was high school, to hold each other accountable and watch each other's back. Who cares that I had another year of spanish and was doing poorly in math(again)? I had my friends!
The year was even more amazing, as the 9th grade play was Joseph and the Amazing Technicolored Dreamcoat, one of my favorite shows. So that semester I auditioned pining away for the part of the brother with the song "Canaan Days", I was looking forward to brushing up on my french accent and making people laugh. So a week goes by after auditions, and the cast list finally went up. I remember scanning the page looking for my name and there it was....
Mike Rhodes.........Joseph
To say I was shocked would have been the greatest understatement you could ever make in your life! I thought..."Surely that's a mistake", but clearly my vision didn't lie because after multiple rechecks it said the same thing...I was casted as Joseph, the lead. I walked to the bus and just praised Jesus the entire trip home. I told my parents, and they were like "No seriously, what role did you get?"
It was an interesting time, because until then, I never thought I was lead material. I mean I enjoyed theater and I loved acting, but I never thought I could memorize all those songs(let alone was good singer). I always wanted the best part with the least amount of responsibility. Well here I got the best part AND the most responsibility to boot! I was nervous, scared, but excited to rise to the challenge. I really wowed people. The teachers who knew me as meek and mild mannered, wondered who this kid onstage was...because it surely couldn't be the same student they had in class, could it? Classmates took notice of me, and suddenly I was making friends in school again. I was invited to parties...heck that year, a cast party wasn't complete until I showed up.
Being a part of that show changed my life...but it also taught me alot. You see Joseph was betrayed by those he trusted most as well. His brothers in their jealousy, resentment and anger; tried to kill him but finally settled for selling him into slavery. For over twenty years Joseph was either in slavery or in prison for nothing that was his fault, but God used it for good. In the end Joseph was essential to the survival of Egypt and the surrounding area, including saving his own family. It wasn't easy, but Joseph, through God's help, forgave his brothers for what they did.
And it was through doing the show, researching Joseph's story in the book of Genesis in the Bible, and my own experiences; that it was very important that I not get caught in the limelight of fame. For whatever reason, the Lord found it necessary to have me struggle without any friends in school, and it taught me that popularity is a fickle thing. You may be popular for a time, but it easily can be robbed from you in an instant. If that's what you build your life upon, if it's what you build your friendships on; then it will surely crumble. I could have easily rode the life of fame and not have a care, but it would have been a shallow life. The fame DID slowly fade, and I never got the lead role again the rest of high school. But life was good, the friends worth having were the ones who stayed my friends those remaining three years.
I also learned to forgive. It wasn't easy...that pain still hurts. In fact, I'm still processing how it effected me and how I interact with people. But faith and trust in the Lord tells me He's used that experience for good, and I NEEDED to forgive those boys. My struggle has only been a few years...Joseph endured almost twenty! If he could forgive and love his brothers, then who am I to hold a grudge?