William Daugherty
William Daugherty's Story
From Addiction to Redemption
I was content living in sin and worshiping God in my life at the same but soon found out this was impossible.
Where was my life going? Why am I not sure who I am anymore? I found myself asking these questions that I thought I had answered long ago. My experience with sexual impurity changed all this and more. I was content living in sin and worshiping God in my life at the same but soon found out this was impossible. My sin created in me a separation between God and I, which no amount of good deads could bring me back; it would take more than that. I thought since I asked for forgiveness I could put it behind me. In my mind I wasn't doing anything really bad. I even attended two Bible studies, and went to church on Sundays. And I was the master at pretending to be sincere when I worshipped. But God wanted all of me not just the things I wanted to give him.
Soon I realized living in this sin started to make me feel lonely, detached from the world, and made me forget who I really was. I lost all my self worth and confidence. I gradually turned sad and depressed and desired to be alone more than anything. I was dead, for I lost my passion for God and most of all life. I had no idea what was wrong.
I started to run away from my problems. Every time something hard came up I would sleep it away. I was using sleep as my drug. I slept for that was the only place I could find peace and desired to sleep for the rest of my life. I just blamed it on some medical problem I might have, totally oblivious to what was happening. I didn't care about anything except escaping this misery. My life had no purpose, but God had a purpose for me.
Keep in mind most the time I was actually pretty happy and totally unaware of my problem. It wasn't until I was placed in an unfamiliar environment that I really started to realize my lack of confidence, excitement. Ultimately, my unhappiness with the person I was becoming. I felt unwanted no matter how much love was shown to me.
It was by the grace of God that saved me. He picked me up after the years of me sinning and rejecting his way. Without his grace I would have went through life taking the easy way out, hiding from my problems and also happiness. I was told a very good piece of advice "no matter what you think, specific roads will lead you to certain places" and that was the road I was headed down. Though eventually I would have found a wife and a job, I wouldn't have been able to deny the consequences of my sin.
I saw God through Christian men for me to share and tell what I was experiencing and I was able to bond and lean on these guys. God showed himself in many ways: he gave me things to live for, he showed me that he needed me on this earth. It was like the water finally discovering its purpose in the world. This was the first time in a long time that I didn't feel lonely; I felt accepted and understood. They knew my feelings and God was able to help me through them. He was doing deep surgery on my heart and my past had been wiped away. I forgot all about my past and I just wanted to live only for God.
You see, thats what he does, is he takes everything that hurts you and puts them on his back, helps you up and then carries you on his shoulders for the world to see. I experienced the love and forgiveness of Christ and I want for you to experience it too.
To truly re-devote my life to God was the only pill I had to swallow and it tasted good. I had tried many times before to change by myself and also I even denied that God could change me but He not only changed me but erased my past and made me pure again when I had faith in him.
I finally realized I was broken from my chains when I started meeting people left and right and all the side effects disappeared. Satan no longer had control of my mind and I was able to love again. Soon, I was going out with my friends and rejoicing in dance at the New Years Eve party and I was able to be myself again. Experiencing true happiness, that I hadn't felt in a long time. I will do absolutely anything to keep from returning to that way of "life" including giving up the sin that caused me nothing but misery.
Sin destroys everything you are and you don't even realize it. After this all happened, God renewed my life and picked me up from the gutters and placed me on the highest mountain. I'm living for God and allowing him to take control of my life and life is amazing. I still struggle every now and then but now I have the rock to fall back on. God has allowed me the confidence to share my faith and be who he made me to be. He certainly raised me up from the dead. And now months later I realize that the road to become free is a long journey that starts with recommiting you life to God every day and letting him take complete control.