Stephen Lovelady
Stephen Lovelady's Story
Freshman Experience
What God has taught me about Himself my first year of college.
When I was coming into my freshman year last summer, I had become complacent in my walk with God. God just became another point to check off on my to-do list. It seemed as if when I read the bible or got my quiet time done that day, I could take care of the rest and I didn't need God to help me with it. My life had become "me"-centered instead of christ-centered.
Because of this, I began to feel scared and alone. The more and more I tried to do things myself, the more and more I failed. It made me feel miserable, and I could feel God drawing me back to himself, but I continued to turn my back on him.
The breaking point came when I made some terrible grades on some very important tests. I felt awful because grades really meant a lot to me (or so I thought). When I came home from the tests, God got my attention and I realized that I was trying to rely only on myself and that would not work. Suddenly, a great sense of joy came upon me, and God lifted my soul up from the depths of despair.
If God had not graciously allowed me to understand that I was being so selfish, I would still be feeling miserable. "I" would have still been trying to "fix" my attitude and that just would not work. The only way we can hope to change our attitude is by asking Christ to work through us to change it.
I saw God working in the situation when I was at Campus Crusade the night after my tests, and our director was speaking about selfishness. God really grabbed my attention at that point and I began to see how selfish I had really become.
The high point has been that God has shown me how living for myself will only lead to despair and sorrow. Life will seem pointless when we live for ourselves. A great verse that God has revealed to me during this situation is Galatians 2:20 which says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
Since then, I have still had struggles with complacency in my faith and selfish attitudes. Thankfully, God has allowed me to realize my shortcomings, and he has shown me that I must look to him for everything. No matter what, If I trust in my self, I will be let down, but if I trust in God, he will never let me down.