Drinking Rat Poison

Could I really forgive my Dad for what he had done? Staying hurt and angry seemed like the only natural response.

Story Tags

divorce, anger, betrayal, forgiveness, resentment, bitterness, family

Explore the Story

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Mom was crying again.

Instinctively, I knew what happened. My parents' troubled marriage was over. Dad found someone else. A woman who would later become my step-mother.

The news of my father's betrayal cut deeply. How could he do this to us? My parents had separated twice before in the past twelve months. Just a few months earlier, my Father stood before my sister and I, confidently announcing the end of his separation from my mother. "This will never happen again," he told us.

As the reality of his betrayal sank in, a growing bitterness filled my heart. I grew cold towards my Dad and I began to distance myself from him emotionally.

Someone once said that refusing to forgive is like "drinking rat poison and hoping the rat dies." I was choking on a poisonous brew of bitterness, anger, and betrayal. A wedge was growing between my Father and I, but that was about to change.

A few years earlier, I became a follower of Jesus Christ and through him I began a relationship with God. This relationship affected everything. It was about to affect my relationship with my Dad.

It wasn’t long before I began to hear a still, small voice. Not an audible voice, but just as real. And honestly, I didn’t want to listen. I knew where this “conversation” was headed.

God wanted me to forgive my Father. He wanted to free me from my bitterness towards my Dad. So he began working in my heart, reminding me that I too, had betrayed someone...Him. I chose to live my life apart from Him, on my own terms, living in rebellion. Yet He offered me forgiveness through his son Jesus and the opportunity to find life in him. God forgave my far worse betrayal of him and now wanted me to extend that same forgiveness towards my Father.

Few decisions in my life were as difficult as this one. Staying hurt and angry seemed like the only natural response. Could I really forgive my Dad for what he had done? Just thinking about it made me sick to my stomach. Only the supernatural work of God could transform my bitter heart.

Finally, after months of wrestling, I surrendered to God's will and forgave my Dad. As a result, it seemed like an enormous weight lifted from my shoulders. The burden of bitterness disappeared.

Looking back, I am so grateful for God's supernatural help in forgiving my Dad. Just six years later, he lost his life to cancer. I would have missed out on those last few years of his life if I hadn't forgiven him.

Unfortunately, I'm a slow learner so I still struggle with unforgiveness and resentment towards others at times. Learning to forgive is a process. But I know through experience that God can enable us to do the impossible. He can help us forgive those who hurt us and can lead us to discover a freedom we've never known.