John Saddinton
John Saddinton's Story
Physically Broken
Being physically broken for the first time in my life. My first incapacitation.
I was all packed and ready to go. In a couple hours I would be on the road to North Carolina, headed for a huge youth conference with the rest of my church friends. There, at Montreat College, we would spend a week worshipping the Lord. God had other plans that evening. Instead of dreaming softly in my cozy bed, I was staring at the white-washed ceiling of a hospital room, my body-temperature barely dropping below 104 degrees while the rest of my body systematically shut itself down. I was at the verge of death, and the doctors suggested to my father that he prepare for the ultimate worst-case scenario; that I would not make it. Weeping took too much energy. Instead, I focused on breathing. It's all I could do.
Because of this unknown evil force working thru my body, I ended up being the host of many drugs, undergoing spinal taps, CAT scans, and MRI's, had a myriad of drugs dripped into me intravenously. My body was no longer mine. For the next 7 days, my physical capabilities were no longer existent. I was bed-ridden. At the age of 18, I was a physical-machine, I had never suffered from a major illness (my school attendance record was unbelievable), and I was in some of the greatest shape I could have possibly been, riding on 4 straight letters in a couple Varsity sports, I was the captain of my HS Soccer Team, and participated on the best Select Soccer team in the entire state. I had made All-District, All-State Select teams and nothing could stop my physical presence. And, here I was, unable to go to the bathroom without the aid of someone holding me up, at the age of eighteen, having my parents bathing me like a child, helping me consume liquidated food. I was but a shell of the man I was. And, this pissed me off.
But the physical pain, which was the worst that I have ever endured, was not the lowest point in those hellish 168 hours. It was the mental torment that demonized my spirits. The fact that I was denied a perfect chance to worship the Lord in fellowship with my brothers and sisters from my church was ruthlessly playing upon my drained mental state. That week, in the past, had been one of the most spiritual and uplifting weeks of the entire year for me. I needed that week. I needed that week so as to revive my spiritual life and help me get more focused. It was the source of my entire spiritual lif