Jenna King
Jenna King's Story
Wanting Love
I was desperately searching for a soulmate; someone who I could invest all my energy into or perhaps, spend the rest of my life with.
The problem was I was desperately searching for a soulmate; someone who I could invest all my energy into or perhaps, spend the rest of my life with. I wanted to find someone who could give me unconditional love and make me whole, like all of my friends who had serious relationships and seemed to be happy.
Because of this, I started focusing on finding that one guy. My life was consumed with finding the right person for me. Every guy I met was a possibility. I would find myself looking throughout a room wondering whether he was there. I jumped right into several relationships only to find that those guys, while being wonderful people, didn't fulfill my needs and expectations. I still was lacking the one who made my soul feel complete.
Then came the point when I started asking myself if there was anyone out there for me. I was repeatedly searching and coming up empty handed. It seemed as if no one understood or returned my feelings. I was looking for real love, and failing miserably.
If I had kept searching the way I was, I would have become depressed and eventually given up on the idea of a love that lasts.
I saw God working in the situation when one day I was on a church retreat in highschool and the preacher referred to Jesus as wanting to love us like a groom loves his bride. I had never heard of God's love for me expressed in this way and it got me thinking.
I finally realized that the love I was looking for wasn't of an earthly nature. The Lord had put that longing in my heart for His love and His love only. His unconditional love was the only thing that could make my soul feel complete. As soon as I realized that and accepted His love, I no longer was obsessive about finding a soulmate, because I knew I had a love that was indescribable waiting for me in Heaven. I realized that I don't need a man to make me feel complete and worthwhile, because Jesus is my one true love.
Since then, while I would love to say that I never felt lonely again, it is still sometimes hard and, being a hopeless romantic, I have fallen into sinful traps of unhealthy relationships. But the Lord always calls me back and reminds me that before I can be happy with an earthly mate, I must be fulfilled with the love that He has for me and I must understand that ALL I need is my Father.