Andy Witt
Andy Witt's Story
Physical Grace
I found forgiveness, freedom and fulfillment after a long relationship focused on sex.
In high school, I had a long-term dating relationship with a girl the same age as I was. I started the relationship by asking her to the Homecoming Dance and we began dating about a week after that. She was definately the "first love" of my life and we matched up together pretty well. As our relationship progressed we started to get more physical with our emotions and desires. We would fool around almost everyday after school and when we added our social (drinking) parties to the scene, the fooling around got worse.
Because of this, I felt that I needed to continue getting more and more physical with her. Still being in high school, this wasn't too hard to accomplish. I would boast about this physical side of the relationship to friends, which would in turn pressure me to go even further with her. She trusted me and we were in "love," so physical love came naturally to us.
The hardest part to cope with now is my actions one night after one of our parties. A group of us had lied to our parents about sleeping over somewhere - the girls over at one house and the guys over at another - when we really were sleeping over at my girlfriend's house, co-ed, without her parents home. All of us had too much to drink and lost sight of many things. Eventually, all the couples found their solitude and started fooling around. At this point in our physical relationship, my girlfriend and I had pretty much done all that could be done besides having sex. However, everything changed that night. If I was still in high school I could say that I hit the proverbial home run that night. It was a home run that I wish I never would have been up to bat for.
Looking back, I can see that I had dwelt in this sin far longer than I should have. If I can remember correctly, we continued to date for nearly 10 months after that night. If I had continued the relationship any farther than that, who knows where I might be (not married with kids is my best guess).
I saw God working in the situation when I started going to youth group meetings as a senior in high school. At this point, we had already had sex and there was no way around that. I went to a retreat with my youth group and there discovered what Christianity was really about and how I could have a neverending joy in the love of Jesus Christ. I'm not sure if I became a Christian at this point in my life, but the Spirit of the Lord was teaching me many basic truths about Jesus. A year later I found myself in college, with only one good friend with me. Wanting to continue in a youth group, I began searching. I found fellowship and love within the Campus Crusade for Christ (CCC) ministry on campus. A few months after finding this organization, I went on another retreat and it was there that the Lord grasped my heart. I had accepted the gift of Jesus Christ and was washed clean of all my sin. When I got back to school, the reality of having a non-Christian relationship started to wear on me, and I knew things had to change. My girlfriend wasn't too interested in my new found beliefs and love for God, but was willing to make the changes necessary to the physical end of our relationship. I soon discovered that these changes weren't enough to meet my convictions and knew that the relationship would have to end soon. And it did just that after the winter break of my freshmen year.
Since then, I have felt a huge weight lifted off my back. The Lord has catapulted my relationship with Him forward to the point that I can only explain my growth as the wonders of the grace of God (God's grace is an unmerited gift from God toward man, undeserved and not sought after). When I look back on my life, I can't even begin to explain the complete 180 degree turn God's grace has had on my lifestyle.
The struggle that still remains, however, is lust. I was in the habit of fulfilling my sexual urges and desires nearly everyday for over a two-year period. By God's amazing and unbelievable grace I have been able to significantly reduce these desires and urges, and my attempts to fulfill them.
When I think back to the things I used to do and the forgiveness and joy that Jesus offers, I can't think of anything better that could have happened to me than finding Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Being able to express my love to Him, my true "first love," has changed my life forever. Everyday I can find the fulness of joy and happiness that will never leave me. I'm so thankful for the sacrifice of Jesus and God's continued pattern of grace in my life.