Sam Tuttle
Sam Tuttle's Story
Breaking Up
More than empty tradition, God wanted me to be really connected with him on a personal level.
Story Tags
Explore the Story
Throughout my childhood, my friendships were one of the most important thing to me. Things didn't change as I got older.
I loved high school, and I had a lot of great friends. But into my sophomore year, I started dating, and got really serious with this girl. There was a rediculous amount of chemistry between us, but things were never settled, and there was always friction. Gradually we started spending more and more time together, and I spent less and less time with my other friends. As the year went on, she became a larger part of my life. The problem was, my relationships with other friends suffered, and my relationship with God did too.
After months of your typical relationship drama, I finally had to admit to myself and to God: this was not working out! If I wasn't hanging out with her, I was thinking about her and worrying. It's true, I had fallen for her bad, but deep down I knew that the relationship wasn't right and it wasn't healthy for me or her. I finally got to the point where I had to end it.
Breaking up with her was a painful experience. And it hurt me to know how much I had hurt her in the whole process. I don't regret the break up, but I don't wish that kind of grief on anyone.
Who knows what would have happened if we stayed together. We probably would have continued to fight until the whole thing blew up. Honestly, I don't want to know how else it could have ended.
It's been years since we were together, and looking back I can see how I grew up and matured a lot through the experience. I think I have a much more balanced view of dating, and more importantly, the role God wants to play in our lives. I don't believe God was content with my "religious" lip service towards him. More than empty tradition, God wanted me to be really connected with him on a personal level. I believe God really desires friendship with us all. I was so wrapped up in my own thing, that I couldn't see that truth.
Things defintely aren't perfect now. But as I grow up, and grow in my understanding of who God is, I'm learning that his friendship isn't fickle, and it's meant for an eternity.