Kevin Stanley
Kevin Stanley's Story
It Blew Me Away
Redemption entered into the story when I saw my need for God at that moment and I actually recognized it.
I just came out of high school where I thought I was a really great person. I was an all-star at everything I did, and I was well-liked by everybody. On the outside, I was a Christian, and I tried my best to look holy and righteous in front of everybody, especially those that might judge me. With my friends, however, I was not living the way a Christian should. I was not actively involved with a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and I did not continually seek to obey Him. I appeared that way to many people in high school and in my church, but on the inside, I was living the way that I wanted to live - selfishly.
Right before I came to college, my family and I had just moved to a new town. I did not know anybody, and I was ready to go off to college. When I finally got to Virginia Tech, I was kind of just going through the motions of being a college student. I did not have any idea what to expect as a college student, and I just went along with the flow. One day, I got a free popsicle from a Campus Crusade for Christ information table, and I filled out a survey asking what I thought about God. Later, some people from Campus Crusade came by my room to talk about God and Jesus Christ. I confidently told them that I already knew the answers to Christianity (in my mind, I was pretty cocky), but that I would still like to check out one of the weekly meetings. I went to a couple of meetings, and at the end of September, I went to their Fall Retreat for the weekend.
I had joined a bible study in this first month of the year, and Eric Slominski was my leader. My two best friends in the study were Steve Caleffi and Dan Morgan. The four of us went to Fall Retreat 2000 together, and it was just a full weekend of being around really solid college-age Christians who wanted to learn more about Jesus. This really blew me away because I had never before seen people my age so excited to worship God or want to know Him better.
It was during this retreat that I realized something about myself - I had been searching for fulfillment in high school in the things of the world. This included sports, grades, band, music, video games, and just having a good time. Even though I excelled in all of these areas in high school, my life did not seem very satisfactory to me. I had a really bad temper, and my language was really poor. I did not seek to love others; rather, I loved to do things for myself and I was always in competition with somebody else it seemed. At the retreat, when I saw the college students worshiping God so peacefully and joyfully, I knew that I wanted that in my life.
I guess the hardest or worst of this whole story was realizing what I had to give up to obtain this joy and this peace. I eventually threw away all my bad CD's, I deleted all my illegal MP3's, I had to learn to clean up my language, and I had to try to figure out how to tell my friends from high school that I was now different. This last part was the hardest, and I definitely did not want to seem like I was better than them, because I wasn't and I am not. I think that I have transitioned very well into explaining to them how I have changed, and they have still accepted me and even changed some themselves! That has been really neat to experience.
If I had stayed in the same situation that I was experiencing in high school, I think that I would have gotten burned out on life, and I would not have any joy in my life. By being an all-star all throughout childhood and high school (in everything that I did), I was used to that type of success. There is no way that I would be best at everything I did here at Virginia Tech because the school is 25,000 people (compared to the tiny town I grew up in), and that was very hard for me. My life may have seemed very hopeless, unfulfilling, and pointless. While I still struggle with these issues to this day, I at least know that there is hope for joy and peace and (Godly) success even when my "all-star" status falls through.
I saw God working in the situation when I came to the Campus Crusade meeting and I saw hundreds of college students worshipping God willingly and joyfully. It was then that I knew I wanted more out of life and that just kind of floating through life is not very fulfilling for me at all. Redemption entered into the story when I saw my need for God at that moment and I actually recognized it.
Since then, I defintely am not perfect and I still struggle with areas of my life. However, I have seen huge success in several areas of my life. I believe that obeying God is always the right thing to do, even when it is really hard. For example, I threw out all of my CD's after Fall Retreat. I owned Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Rage Against the Machine, and many other albums that had horrible lyrics and profanity in them. By doing this, I cleansed my mind from the constant trash that was being put inside me, and by obeying God this way, I allowed Him to begin to heal me and build my character to how He wanted me. My language has cleaned up a LOT since then, and my thoughts are no longer angry or hateful. The temper that I had little control over was now under control, and I experienced freedom from the temper.
After Fall Retreat, I began to realize that Christianity is not about being religious. It is about a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I did not really understand that very much while growing up, but now I feel like I can experience true joy and peace in my life unlike before when I was doing great in everything, but then in the long run, that did not last and did not ultimately fulfill me.